playing possum

I let Rufus out to go pee in our backyard. I looked down and saw a baby possum stuck in our window well. If you know me, you know I have a huge soft spot for animals. Even a nasty possum seems sweet when it's a baby! I went to my very wise husband for advice.

M: Chris!!!! There's a baby possum in our window well!!!

C (while looking down into the well): Are you sure it's not a skunk?

M: I'm positive that's a possum. It has a weird tail. What are we going to do?

C: Do we have to do something?

M: Yes! We can't let it stay in there and starve to death!

C: Okay, okay. You're right. Here's what we will do. We can fill the well up with water and then the baby possum will just swim out.

M: (no words. just complete shock.)

That is when I decided I should call my parents. I was hoping by calling them that my dad would say, "Don't you worry your little head darling! I'm on my way to save the possum for you!" Instead I talked to mom and I heard, "We have a net and a shovel you are more than welcome to."

I knew what I needed to do, but Chris could tell that I was clearly procrastinating. He tried to make the situation better by reminding me, "You best not wait to get the possum out when it's dark. You think he's scary now? Wait till it's dark!"

I hopped in the car. Before I had even left our neighborhood, I hit and killed a squirrel. Do you know how much I LOVE squirrels? Let me fill you in: I once hit my neighbors mailbox to prevent me from harming a squirrel. That's how much I love squirrels. WAYYY more than a stupid possum.

I picked up the net and shovel from my parents and headed home. As soon as I got home, Chris reminded me again of the fact that darkness was approaching. I went inside, put a jacket on and my rainboots. I went outside with the net in hand to save the possum. Chris looked me up and down.

C: Why are you wearing your winter clothes?

M: Mom said that possums can be mean. She said I shouldn't wear flip flops because it might bite me.

C: (smile) I'm going to save the possum. Give me the net.

M: THANK YOU!!! (kiss kiss kiss) I'm going to get the video camera! This is what proceeded.



The next day I scanned the yard to see if it was safe for Rufus to go pee. I found the possum dead laying next to our house. It was very depressing. To make matters worse, my dad has been sending me text messages that read "Possum Killer".

The moral of the story is don't save a possum. Because you will probably kill a squirrel, waste some gas, save the possum, and then find it dead the next day. What I really should have video taped was Chris shoveling it up to put it in the trash can on garbage day. Priceless.