and if not, He is still good

We started trying to grow our family about three years ago. Seeing as how it took us about a month to get pregnant with Lincoln, we didn't think we would have much trouble. It wasn't until we had been trying for over two years and had lost two precious babies that we knew something was wrong. In January my OBGYN recommended I see a Reproductive Endocrinologist in Louisville, Dr. Archer. She quickly diagnosed me with hypothyroid and polycystic ovarian syndrome. I was put on several oral medications--one for my thyroid, one fertility med to help me ovulate, and one to lower certain hormones in my body. I also had to give myself shots in the abdomen, which was horrible. Five months into my fertility treatments, we became pregnant again and almost a week after finding out, we lost our baby. My doctor recommended that I have a HSG test, where they inject dye into your tubes to make sure that they're not clogged, and sometimes while pushing the dye through, your tubes can become unclogged. I did the HSG, and was told this was the last month I could be on the fertility meds because my body had become tolerant to them and I was on the maximum dose that could be ordered. We had pretty much just given up.

We had planned a vacation to Florida and the day before we left, I was due to take a pregnancy test. We were both shocked, overjoyed, and terrified when it showed a positive result. And here we are 18 weeks pregnant with a baby boy who is healthy and beautiful. Since we went through this journey of infertility and loss, we have come in contact with so many other couples who are either going through the same thing or have in the past. That being said, the only reason I feel the need to share this is because we want to give God the glory and that through our journey we might encourage someone else.

Although this is by far the hardest thing I've ever been through, and will continue to go through probably for the rest of my life, I KNOW the only way I have gotten through it, and will continue to is because of God. He has carried me and given me strength when I felt like I couldn't even breathe, let alone get out of bed. I know that He sees me and feels my hurt. I know that His ways are higher than my ways, even when I don't understand. I know that even when He chooses to not answer my prayer, He is good and He knows what is best.

I cannot thank God enough for blessing us with Lincoln and the baby growing in my belly. I thank Him for sending me to a wonderful doctor, who went above and beyond to help us conceive. I thank Him for the amazing friends He placed in my life to encourage us and lift us up when we were at our lowest. I thank Him that He made a way for Chris and I to be with ALL of our babies someday. I thank Him, I thank Him, I thank Him.

Meet our precious Leo Birke ...