here's why I don't tweet on twitter

This post is for everyone who's ever asked me, "What did you do today?" or "What are your plans for this week?" or "Why don't you twitter?!?"

This is what I would have twittered yesterday ...

6:15 a.m. - Lincoln is awake for the fourth time. (That's right ... Lincoln slept through the night every night for over a week and now we're back at square one.) I'm going to go change Lincoln's diaper.

6:20 a.m. - I'm wiping Lincoln's booty.

6:21 a.m. - Lincoln tried to pee on me but the crisis was avoided. He peed on his curtains instead.

6:22 a.m. - I'm scrubbing pee off of the curtains.

6:30 a.m. - I'm feeding Lincoln.

7:00 a.m. - Lincoln went to sleep.

7:05 a.m. - I'm letting Rufus out to pee and then I'm going to bed!

8:00 a.m. - Lincoln is awake.

8:30 a.m. - I'm loading the dishwasher and bouncing Lincoln in his bouncy seat.

9:00 a.m. - I'm vacuuming our rugs and then I'm going to clean the floors. Lincoln is strapped onto me in his snuggly.

9:30 a.m. - I'm eating an English muffin with apricot jam for breakfast and bouncing Lincoln in his bouncy seat.

9:45 a.m. - I'm going to make a few phone calls.

9:55 a.m. - I'm blogging and feeding Lincoln.

10:15 a.m. - Lincoln is over his bouncy seat. I'm going to put him in his swing.

10:18 a.m. - Lincoln hated the swing.

10:50 a.m. - I'm putting on my makeup and Lincoln is trying to roll over on his hippo mat.

11:30 a.m. - I'm getting Lincoln dressed.

11:40 a.m. - I'm putting Lincoln in his stroller and taking him for a walk.

11:44 a.m. - The car is on fire smoking out the hood.

12:10 p.m. - The fire department is at our house (Don't worry ... the car is fine.)

12:30 p.m. - I'm putting brisket in the crock pot.

1:00 p.m. - I'm feeding Lincoln.

1:40 p.m. - Lincoln somehow managed to pee through his diaper, out his clothes, and onto me. Clothes change #3.

2:00 p.m. - I'm going to take a shower.

2:20 p.m. - I'm fixing my hair.

2:40 p.m. - I'm waiting on Rufus to finish pooping.

3:00 p.m. - I just threw in a load of laundry and folded Chris undershirts.

3:30 p.m. - I'm feeding Lincoln.

4:15 p.m. - I'm windexing and dusting everything in sight while Lincoln is napping.

4:30 p.m. - I'm putting in some eggs to boil and then I'm back to cleaning.

4:45 p.m. - I'm making deviled eggs and cutting up egg for our salad.

5:05 p.m. - Chris is home!!!

That's why I don't tweet on twitter. I'll spare you and sum up the rest of the evening. Chris Morgan ate dinner with us. Chris and I got a coffee. Then we finished watching 24, season 6.

Quick story---Lincoln was laying on Chris' tummy tonight. He was tooting like crazy (so we thought). Several minutes later Chris lifts Lincoln up and there is poop everywhere ... on Chris' shirt, Lincoln's legs, arms, clothes, the bed, everywhere. It was his stinkiest poop of all time. I wiped him up the best that I could and stuck him in the tub ... not before he managed to put his hands in it and smear it on his cheek. As soon as I put him in the tub, he started peeing all over the place. After I got him all cleaned up, Chris said I could put him back on his tummy. I jokingly asked, "Are you sure you want me to do that?" I laid Lincoln on Chris' stomach. A few minutes later he spit up all over the place. What a night ...